So, another NHL draft came and went.

Unlike other drafts, Darryl Sutter actually told the truth when he said he wouldn't be busy. Unfortunately, this draft was the worst time possible for him to tell the truth.  Instead of shipping off salary or getting a first round pick, he sat back and let 60 something picks lapse before he took his first player. So coming out of it, we have a late 20's goalie who will provide depth on the farm (if he even comes over), a couple OK prospects from decent lineage's, and some guys who may never play a game in the NHL. But despite being boring, I think the draft was actually positive. We didn't get rid of any good depth guys (Glencross, Dawes), Giordano is still a Flame, and White wasn't moved. If Daz had made White's rights available, he would have got a early 2nd round or late 1st rounder. It was no surprise Sutter wanted to move up in the draft, and he could have easily done just that. But he didn't, and to me that signifies a strong desire to keep White around. Maybe this is a new Sutter we are seeing? If he really wants to sign White, which I now believe he does, he will have to move some salary. There are three likley outcomes here:

1. Daz decides to get rid of a)Sarich b)Staios or c)Kotalik, either by way of trade for nothing or demotion. Sarich is the prime canidate for deletion here, because it's a lot easier to justify dropping a aging defender who you signed 4 years ago as opposed to a guy you traded for last season. This creates the cap space and roster space needed for White.

2. White will be qualified @ 3.15 Million. This ensures that the Flames will get a handsome return if he is taken away (1st & 3rd) and also keeps the salary from getting too absurd. Personally, this is about 350k/year more then I would be giving him, but if Daz is uncertain in any way about getting this guy signed, he has that security blanket of the picks. Plus, 3.15 isn't exactly out of the realm of possibilty.

3. White is taken to arbitration and given a salary in the mid 2 range, and is resigned next year to a higher salary after Daz moves a contract or Staios comes off the books. The only problem here is that Giordano, Glencross and Dawes are all UFA's next year, and it would be extremely hard to resign all 4 of them to solid, fair value contracts.

In an ideal world, White and Higgins will be signed to good value deals by mid-July. Anything past that, due to the unique situation that the Flames are in, is going to very difficult to predict.

Well, it's nearing mid June, which means the draft and free agency are just weeks away. Also the Stanley Cup is over. That's kinda important.

Now normally I'd like to look at potential draft targets, but...well there's that whole not drafting for like the first bajillion picks, so that just gets depressing (also Hayley at M&G is doing a fantastic job already). So here I'm looking at the UFA list for this summer and who we could potentially target off of it. My criteria? All forwards (because Lord knows we don't need anymore defensemen) who scored 19 or more points. Why 19? Because Nystrom scored that many and it's as good a number as any. So without further ado, here's numbers 29-20.

Well, yes, I am. Unfortunately for you, some of my writing will be popping up more frequently now that school is done and summer is upon us. First things first: you hate the Canucks. I hate the Canucks. We hate Canuck fans. So, what better way to show them our resentment then kicking the shit out of them in street hockey? Five Hole for Food has also been commented on by Arik's nemesis, but I feel that I have to tell you that come July 5th, I will be the fat kid who just came out of his parent's basement with cheeto stains on his Iginla jersey. We shall be victorious! Also, I will play goalie. Because everyone hates playing goalie.

Also, bring a couple cans of food for those less fortunate. I know times are tough for everyone, but they are a little tougher for the single parent trying to feed 3 kids.

It's good to be back, 4th liners.

Chris Higgins Chris Higgins Chris Higgins. No, I'm not attempting to get him to appear in my mirror, though how cool would that be? I'm merely trying to wrap my head around what the hell the Flames should do about Mr. Higgins.

Here's the conundrum: Chris Higgins is a 3 time 20 goal scorer who is going to be a UFA come July 1. None of those three times have been in the last 2 seasons. He's coming off an injury which limited him to 17 games with the Flames after the trade deadline, also causing his counting numbers to be down. What do we do?

Me, I say let him go. Now, Higgins is a solid two-way player, much much better than Kotalik and we could probably sign Higgins for cheap. However, we're stuck with Kotalik, as a buy-out seems unlikely. We're stuck with that god-awful $3M a year. And we don't need more two-way defensive forwards who can't get the puck in the net.

I understand quite well that his shooting percentage was horrible this year, and that most players revert to the mean on percentage based stats. Unfortunately, this seems unlikely with Higgins. Let's look at his percentages:

05-06: 148 SOG, 23 G, 15.5%

06-07 (61 GP): 159 SOG, 22 G, 13.8%

07-08: 241 SOG, 27 G, 11.2%

08-09 (57 GP): 151 SOG, 12 G, 7.3%

09-10 (67 GP): 165 SOG, 8 G,. 4.8%

So what does this tell us? Well first, 4.8% is not something I'd expect anyone to shoot in the NHL level. That WILL bounce back up. But nonetheless, his shooting percentage is steadily trending downwards, and on a team full of "defensive forwards" or guys that can't consistently put it in the back of the net, that's not what we need.

I like Higgins, I really do. He's a good possession-driving guy. But we need more, so unless Kotalik vanishes somehow, or we can sign Higgins for absurdly cheap, I can't get behind him. He's not what the club needs.

Well, it's nearing mid June, which means the draft and free agency are just weeks away. Also the Stanley Cup is over. That's kinda important.

Now normally I'd like to look at potential draft targets, but...well there's that whole not drafting for like the first bajillion picks, so that just gets depressing (also Hayley at M&G is doing a fantastic job already). So here I'm looking at the UFA list for this summer and who we could potentially target off of it. My criteria? All forwards (because Lord knows we don't need anymore defensemen) who scored 19 or more points. Why 19? Because Nystrom scored that many and it's as good a number as any. So without further ado, here's numbers 46-30.

Blah blah blah moving moving moving excuses excuses. Here's the real meat of the post: I'm going to bring up the more significant events that have happened in the Flames world and NHL world since my last post and be a dick about them. Fun- right? Right

Yesterday the Tampa Bay Lightning hired Steve Yzerman for what's probably a ridiculous amount of money. At least that's what the entire country of Canada is assuming since why else would you want to leave the coldness of Canada/Detroit for warm sunny beaches, women in skimpy swimsuits, and an owner (Vinnik) who's not a crazy person (I'll miss OK Hockey).

These haven't been easy playoffs for us Flames fans to watch. Mostly because we aren't in them. Not that we normally are at this point, but I digress. 

So in lieu of a mild spark of hopeless hope that we go through year after year, I have compiled a list of five things for Flames fans to look forward to during the remainder of the playoffs.

1. Seeing the Chicago Blackhawks beat the San Jose Sharks thoroughly (It's gonna happen).

Why is this worth looking forward to? Well, it gives some validation to the massive trauma the Blackhawks inflicted on the Flames in the regular season.  The massive horrifying trauma that resulted in me curled up under my desk for days. The massive horrifying trauma that caused me to wash my hands for hours and hours.  Anyways- when the Hawks go to the Cup Finals, at least we can say those embarassments were at the hands of the best in the West.  Yeah, doesn't help that much.

2. Not seeing the Leafs, Rangers, Ducks, Oilers, or Predators still playing

If one of those many trading partners that fleeced us this year had more success than us, these playoffs would be unbearable. Instead we have the joy and knowledge that even with getting the better of us- they're still terrible! Schadenfreude!

3. No Flames press conferences

Not directly playoff related, but close enough. Remember that horrible hilarious end of season press conference with Ken King and Darryl Sutter where we were basically lied to, manipulated, etc.? Well, so long as the playoffs are going on we don't have to hear another one.

4. We're distracted from dreading the draft!

The Flames first pick is...a long way down.  Fantastic. I think it'll be like 108 or something. But- so long as the playoffs are happening, pre-draft coverage ain't, aside from the Taylor Hall fluff pieces from the Memorial Cup coverage.

5. It's playoff hockey, what more do you want?

Yeah yeah, we're not in it. Still, it's playoff hockey. This is the best time of the year. Hockey is always something to look forward to. Unless, of course, your international team has to go to the relegation round and play Italy...

Welcome to the Sunday Slump, the weekly roundup that's replacing Fun Time Fridays for a variety of reasons, though mostly just because I'm too damn busy on Fridays to be able to guarantee a post every week.

The Slumpy Lead

Eric Adelson is a douche. "Who's that?"  you ask. He's the guy who wrote an article at Y! Sports called Old-school Habs deserve to be America's team. It's not a bad premise (aside from advocating cheering for the Habs) in that he talks about how two "team first teams" in the east are meeting in the conference finals, rather than the super-star driven machines we expected.

Unfortunately, his foundation for this thesis is flawed, at best.  How so? Here's one of the first rhetorical questions he asks:

Were media-blessed stars like Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby really able to take over and win on their own?

I get it, it's cool to see teams without the superstars win, but nobody is arguing that the Caps and Pens were wholly dependent on just their stars. The reason they were so good in the regular season is the supporting casts too. The Caps have Green, Backstrom, Semin, and so on. The Pens have Gonchar, Malkin, and Staal. The only series where offensive players just took over and won the whole series were the SJ-COL series (Pavelski) and the VAN-CHI series (Toews, or to laugh at 'Nucks fans, Luongo certainly did his part to help the Chicago offense). So yeah, man, it's cool to see the media stars gone. But don't imply that they were the only players on their teams. If you want to see a team with zero depth look at the lovely Flames. Or please don't, rather.

However my real problem with the article comes farther down:

Get ready for the NHL to be out-watched by women’s volleyball. Again.

But you know what? Too bad. True fans know the NBA playoffs never make jaws drop like the NHL has this spring. The NBA never has No. 8 seeds beating the regular-season champs and then the defending champs, back to back, led by a slow giant named Hal with 50 stitches in his leg. True fans are tired of trying to expand the brand. Sick of trying to follow the puck? Don’t know what the Halak is going on out there? Fine. Bye. Enjoy LeBron James.

I'm sorry, but that is just bullshit. I'm a true fan- and I want the league expanded. I want to go to a bar and be able to talk about why Evgeni Malkin is overpaid and not about LeBron. I love hockey- I want everyone else to love hockey.  The attitude Mr. Adelson exhibits here is one of elitism. It's the same attitude high school kids have about music- when a band is unknown they're cool, as soon as everyone else likes them, they suck. I want everyone to know and love Brendan Benson, or in this case, the NHL.

Also, nifty for the Habs to get so far. But I'll cheer for Philly over the Habs, because I'll take disgusting assholes over self-entitled assholes any day of the week. Plus my pre-season prediction was Hawks-Flyers in the Cup finals.

Slumping Around the League

Not me! That's who's slumping! Guess who went 4-0 on semi-finals predictions? That's right, this guy. Suck on that Ben Dobson, asshole Canucks fan.

Seriously, this more than makes up for going 2-6 in the quarters, and I was the only person at M&G to pick Les Habitantes to beat the Penguins. So next round I have Philly and the Hawks winning it because, let's face it, the Habs aren't that good, and Halak has to come down to earth eventually. Also Chicago is scary good when they're on.

Slumping Around the Hockey Blog-O-Sphere

Confession time: with moving I've barely read anything this week. The one thing I will plug though?

Hayley at M&G's Canucks Eulogy

Slumpy Sayonara

"This is sadder than that hooker we saw getting beat up by that other hooker."

Yes, it's been over a week since my last post. Yes, I've missed two Sunday Slumps. No, I don't have a lame excuse.

Instead I have a really good one. As I mention like every other post, I'm in the Coast Guard. About a week ago, I got orders. So the past week and change has been me running around getting ready to leave Boston for VA Beach. And I probably won't start posting regularly again until my leave starts a week from Monday.  That is, May 24th.  However- I have a present for you.  What?  Nonsense. No, really. It's true. 

I'm introducing a new segment later this afternoon called Bleacher Report Report. Each week I'll take the most ridiculous Bleacher Report articles and boil them down in their absurdity for you. I do hope you enjoy!