A lot of talk around the Saddlesphere the past couple days has revolved around Jarome Iginla. Trades, captaincy, all of that good stuff. (In the interest of disclosure, Iggy has always been my favorite player and I will defend him to the death.) This then brought on a FanPost on Matchsticks and Gasoline from LawrenceS on trading Iggy. While it's fun to debate about this stuff, the reality is that he has a large contract, which limits the amount of teams he can play for, and a NMC, which pretty much ensures he isn't going anywhere. Rarely do players actually waive a NMC/NTC, especially when said player does not want to leave. With that, let's look the Flames' players with NTC's and NMC's:

Jay Bouwmeester-NTC, Cap Hit of 6.68 Million. JBo isn't going anywhere. He's one year into his contract, and while some find him disappointing due to his low offensive counting numbers, I believe he has had a season just barely good enough to justify his price tag. He eats a ton of ice time, is a great skater, and lugs around stars such as Dion Phaneuf and Steve Staios.

Ales Kotalik-Limited NTC, Cap Hit of 3 Million. It's been reported that Kotalik has a limited NTC to which there are 3 teams he would not accept a trade to. One is assumed to be Calgary, the other Edmonton. That means there are 26 teams in the league he could be traded to, discounting the Rangers and his other selected team. No one wants him, but it could happen. He can also be demoted or placed on waivers at any time.

Rene Bourque & Matt Stajan-NTC, Cap Hits of 3.33 Million and 3.5 Million It's not known if these NTC's are limited or not due to the fact the new contracts don't kick in until July 1st. More will become know then, but these guys are here to stay for the foreseeable future.

Robyn Regehr & Daymond Lankgow-NMC, Cap Hits of 4.02 Million and 4.5 Million Both have had sub-par seasons to the casual observer. Regehr struggled in the early going, while Lankgow's counting numbers saw a significant drop year-over-year. But both still play their position extremely well-Regehr remains a top shutdown defender who logs large minutes and gets significant PK time, while Lankgow drives possession better then anybody on the team, is excellent defensively, and is a Corsi monster. Neither of them are going anywhere.

Jarome Iginla & Miikka Kipprusoff-NMC, Cap Hits of 7 Million and 5.83 Million Even if you want them gone because 1. you think their best days are behind them 2. you think they make too much 3. you want the trade value they have turned into players so this team can be good in the future 4. believe they no longer have a place in the Flames system, you need to pull up a chair right now and listen: They are not going anywhere until their contracts are done. There are a number of reasons for this, but the two most glaring are this: first, they make too much money to simply be dealt in a one for one deal. GM's don't like getting rid of 3 guys just so salary can work out-see the Dion trade. Calgary had to include Aulie and Freddie because the salary and roster implications of a 3 or 4 for 1 deal is huge. The same is true for Kipper and Iggy. The other reason is simple: because of their NMC's. You only ask for a NMC if you don't want to go anywhere, and vice versa. So tell me why, exactly, a player would want to leave even after they have asked for a clause in their contract that is there specifically to ensure they don't have to go anywhere? The bottom line is that the only way these guys are going anywhere is if they specifically state they are OK with it. So where does that leave us? We have one player out of these 8 who can be moved without asking. The very fact that these clauses exist is enough to guarantee that the other 7 will be Flames for years to come. (All data from capgeek.com.)

1. These are grown men.  I can understand you'll want a more "fun" coach on a really young team (like the St. Louis Blues or NY Islanders), but on a team like Calgary where the age skew is closer to 30 than 20, it shouldn't matter. The team should be able to be professional, show up, work hard, play the game hard, and go home.  They're not kids growing up still.  This is not their first rodeo.
2. The coach shouldn't fit a mold.  He should adapt.  And I think Brent has done that.  There's been times where he's yelled, there's been times where they've had a fun day in Toronto.  But the key is never rewarding mediocrity.  If things are just going poorly with bad bounces, take their minds off the game.  But don't give them fun times for just being apathetic.  And Brent hasn't done that.  I mean, could you be a fluffy bunny coach if your team gave up five goals to goddamn Boston?
3. The problem is a lack of effort, not skill nor understanding of the game. The players skate around listlessly, except for the odd game or period where someone reminds them that effort is involved.  A coach can only do so much leadership since he's in a suit behind the bench.  Real leadership comes from the players.  The number of times this year I've seen Iggy skate bored around a scrum with Calgary players getting roughed up is ridiculous.  If you wear the C, you are the leadership on the team.  You are the heart, soul, and backbone of the time.  If you don't have the drive, the passion, and the integrity, take it off.  This is my main point, let me expound:

Memo to Brent Sutter: when your opponent ices it late in the third period, and your team is down by a goal, and the playoffs are literally on the line, you don’t put your fourth line on the goddamn ice, you moron.

1. Ballin' Sutter doesn't have that much power, even though he's the coach. In other words, Staios on the PP and Toskala starting this much mean that  Darryl is upstairs commanding these to happen in order to validate the absurd ridiculous asinine trades he made.
2. Brent hates his brother. I'm sure you've probably heard that if the Flames miss the post season, Daz is gone. Brent probably has too, and is excited at the prospect of having a GM who doesn't think Kotalik is worth trading for.

• Brain slugs are controlling Brent's coaching maneuvers. They are also Oil fans.
• Brent has Alzheimer's
• The Flames can only win the Cup once every century, and this century we need our win to prevent the Oilers from winning in 2 years (we'll beat 'em in the conference finals) and causing the apocalypse of 2012.
• Something about robots.

1. horrible flames trades
2. rene bourque is gay (ed.note: WTF?)
3. joshua jackson
4. glencross scoreface
5. olli jokinen

Also, thanks to the fine folks at Matchsticks & Gasoline for being our #1 referrer! As for the game tonight, let's just hope it doesn't end like this.

Go Flames Go!

Ian White and Kipper. Very rarely do you see someone tap Kipper's Pads.

The Faceoff in the Third.

Nyzerman with a big win off the draw.

The Gang celebrating Bork's breakaway goal.

I was way too lazy to adjust the red eye.

Gio's not actually that big of a guy. He's pretty quiet, too.

Said Iggy photo. He had a brand new pair of skates while signing all of that stuff. I felt bad for asking for a picture after.

I thought this ranked up there in the "lulz" factor.

There you go, wi.

All in all, good game, and the guys were more then accommodating for us.

* * *

I got three questions in the Mailbag this week, which is 3 more then I expected. (You can send questions, comments, and hate mail to justin.azevedo20(at)gmail.com.) The first, hockey-related, from Rod Blogojevich:

What do you think Kevin Weekes would say if Brent Sutter put Nigel Dawes, Jamal Mayers and Jarome Iginla on the same line?

Kevin would talk about racial equality and how the line shows progress in the way of equal rights. Then someone would tell him it isn't the 1960's anymore and realize that Jamal Mayers' eyebrows, Nigel Dawes' handlebars, and Iggy's soft hands could combine with those sick pads he had from the NJ days and form a player unlike any the league had ever seen. He would then call it Blacktron. And all those thoughts would be processed in a manner of nanoseconds, which then tells us why he says such stupid shit in the booth-it's because he's thinking of things much more important to mankind.

The second question comes from my buddy Mark B.:

So we all know Sutter is a dumbfuck. What would you grade his performance as this year?

It all depends what Sutter you are talking about. Brent? "C-", because somehow the team hasn't completely fallen out of it. Darryl? "E" for effort, because a "D" implies competence. (I guess you can't fail him since he was able to trade for Higgins and White and resign Bork). Duane gets a "B", mostly because I have no fucking idea what the Director of Player Personnel actually does. Finally, Ron Gets a "B+" because anyone the Flames pick at the draft this year will be a fringe NHL'er at best, and that isn't his fault.

Lastly, a life question from Rod:

I never have any food ideas. I always make the same meals for dinner, and quite frankly I'm getting sick of them. Do you have any meal suggestions?

This is all dependent on how complicated you want to go, if you are trying to impress, etc. So I'll give you my three favorite fancy dinners:

1. Grilled Salmon with Lemon and Poppyseed dressing, with Brocoflower and a starch;
2. Stuffed Pork Roast (you can put pretty much anything in there, and it's easy to knock a bone out and just use that as the stuffing area.) I like either breadcrumb stuffing, or carrots and potatoes in the middle. The side dish you serve depends on what you chuck in the roast.
3. Fondue. It's easy to do, especially when you have a plug-n-go machine. One tip: if you want to do a meat fondue with oil cooking, make sure the fondue pot you have has a meat setting, and all the fat is trimmed from the meat. This eliminates oil spray, but I would have a cover just to be safe.

* * *

"This is my Happy Face."

(So that mailbag? Yeah, it's being delayed while I pawn my rage off on my computer. You can still send questions to justin.azevedo20(at)gmail.com.)

Usually when teams are in a playoff race, they are supposed to show some kind of desperation. Desperation is not spelled "Vesa Toskala". I understand why you started him, Brent-you think that there is no way in hell you are missing the playoffs, so you want to rest Kipper for the run. And while it's fine to think like that, you also have to realize that you are in 9th place and you have to do everything you can to get this weak-sauce team into the post season. It's not all your fault. I understand that Darryl made awful trades in order to get you the roster you have now, but this is still a playoff roster. The sum of these parts (no matter how small those parts may be) makes up a playoff team. But you have made mistake after mistake after mistake. Multiple times, in multiple situations, you put the 4th line on after an icing call when the other team's tired 4th line is out there. You played Olli Jokinen and Iggy together for 50 games, and you used them against the toughest competition. Then you wondered why they weren't playing up to their salary. I'll tell you why-because Olli Jokinen's only offensive move was the "rape face"; and Iggy has carried this team for 10 years, so the days of him being able to do it by himself are over. Brent, I know you will never read this, but if it somehow makes your way to you, heed this advice: stop being such a moron and use your assistant coaches. I know 2 of them and have met a 3rd multiple times, and they are all very smart and have immense hockey knowledge. In addition, forget how much you are paying each of these guys and put them in a position to succeed, not to fail. I, and many other Flames fans for that matter, would rather see Steve Staios and Cory Sarich go up against the opposing team's fourth lines then to have them in positions where their salary makes sense. Ditto for Kotalik, and sadly, Hagman. (I never thought I would say this, but I would rather be paying Jamal Mayers that 3 million dollar salary that Ales Kotalik right now. Jamal is producing, both with his fists and his stick. Kotalik sucks on toast.) Well, try to suck less and good luck down the way.

(Edited @ 545 for Grammar.)